how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
