all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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