I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
