Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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