Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
