Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
