so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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