Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
