So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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