That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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