508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
