I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
