in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
