Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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