so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
