love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
