i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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