ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
