Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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