There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Even my vagina gasped.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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