just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
