he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
