East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
