i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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