did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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