You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
