just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
