next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
