i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
