Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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