I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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