As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
