bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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