So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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