your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
and i looked up. we had an audience...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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