respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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