Cold hands, warm shart.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
