yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
