Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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