where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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