the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
