the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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