If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
