so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
