it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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