thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize