everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
