Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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