After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
