You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
