Soap is not a condiment
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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