If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
