She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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