guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
