Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize