I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
