Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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