Buhtt sex?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
