I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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