Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
and you fell through a lawn chair
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
